George Formby - Window Cleaner

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You've heard about my capers
when windows I've to clean.

Now I'd like to tell you of
a few more things I've seen.

I've seen Miss Thompson in her flat,
take off her shoes, her coat and hat.

I've seen her take off more than that,
when I'm cleaning windows.

When at a ladies' school I call,
one girl there flirts with me and all,

But I'm insured in case I fall,
when I'm cleaning windows.

All day up this ladder
I'm as happy as can be,

It's not my fault I see a lot
of things I shouldn't see.

To overcrowded flats I've been,
sixteen in one bed I've seen,

With a lodger tucked up in between,
when I'm cleaning windows.

Old soldiers never die they say,
now I don't want to pass away,

I kick the bucket every day,
when I'm cleaning windows.

Through working at such dizzy heights,
I dream about my job at night,

I polish my wife's thingummy tights,
when I'm cleaning windows.

All day up this ladder
I'm as happy as can be,

It's not my fault I see a lot
of things I shouldn't see.

The newly~weds at number six,
somehow the curtains they can't fix,

They play some lovely parlour tricks,
when I'm cleaning windows.

Now lots of girls I've had to jilt,
for they admire the way I'm built,

It's a good job I don't wear a kilt,
when I'm cleaning windows.

At the coronation I'll commence,
to work where crowds are very dense,

And let me stand for eighteen pence,
when I'm cleaning windows.

All day up this ladder
I'm as happy as can be,

It's not my fault I see a lot
of things I shouldn't see.

At eight o'clock a girl she wakes,
at five past eight a bath she takes.

At ten past eight the ladder breaks,
when Im cleaning windows.