Karaoke Music / Songs in English-5 / Weird Al Yankovic - Jerry Springer
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Lyrics from the MIDI .kar music file
It's been one week since we got to see
Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry
Five days since they had the show
With the hermaphrodite, the slut
And the crack ho
Three days since we heard the tale
About the guy who learned his woman
Was a she-male
Yesterday it occured to me
That I've been watchin' a bit too much
Jerry Springer
Holy cow d'you see it last week?
Well they had this one freak
Who sucker punched his whole family
Do you recall when the brawl
Became a total free-for-all?
And Jerry's in the middle tryin' to be the referee
Hey see the stripper with the implants?
She likes to lap dance
And date the boyfriend of her mother
Now here comes Jerry's next guest
And it's a slugfest
'Cause it's her trailer trash brother
Nymphomaniacs is back on crack
It's like "When animals Attack"
They all exhibit reprehensible behavior
Hit 'em in the nose, tear off their clothes
Step on their toes, that's how it goes
They get so violent they have to a sign a waiver
They're always swearin', cursin', kickin', butt
And pointin' blame
On the air? They don't care, they've got no shame
There was one guy who I'm sure felt a little strange
When he found out that his wife had a sex change
They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly
They have a history of ripping off their shirts
It's been one week since they had the fight
With the siamese twins and the transvestite
Five days since that awful brawl
They still haven't got the blood off the wall
It's been three days since the bitter feud
Between the KKK and that gay Jewish black dude
Yesterday, finally dawned on me
I'm spendin' way too much time on that Jerry Springer
Once you start watchin' there's just no stoppin'
Your brain shuts down then your IQ's droppin'
Jerry's the king of confrontation
He's a sensation
He puts the "'sin" in syndication
It's totally worthless, like a bad check
It's like a train wreck
Don't wanna stare but you can't look away
Like Sally Jesse he does talk shows
But with more weirdos
The ratings jumpin' higher every day
If you've seen the show, well then you know
It's just as low as you can go
The guests are tacky
And they're lacking in their hygiene
And pretty soon some ugly goon
Comes in the room and then it's BOOM
In the face of some unsuspecting drag queen
Well it's the kind of show where people Scream obscenities
Yankin' hair, throwin' chairs at their hubbies
"Jerry! Jerry!" Now the crowd starts
Their favorite chant
Should I turn off my TV? I just can't
I have a tendency to watch it religiously
I have a history of taping each one
It's been one week since the show about
Psycho killers with problems they should work out
Five days since the big surprise
When some loser's wife said that she's
Still dating twenty guys
Three days since he interviewed
A bunch of psychic porn star midgets
Who were all nude
Yesterday, it occured to me
That I've been watchin' a bit too much
Jerry Springer
Tired of wastin' my time on that Jerry Springer
I've got way too much class
To watch Jerry Springer
Come over here and pull on my finger
Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry
Five days since they had the show
With the hermaphrodite, the slut
And the crack ho
Three days since we heard the tale
About the guy who learned his woman
Was a she-male
Yesterday it occured to me
That I've been watchin' a bit too much
Jerry Springer
Holy cow d'you see it last week?
Well they had this one freak
Who sucker punched his whole family
Do you recall when the brawl
Became a total free-for-all?
And Jerry's in the middle tryin' to be the referee
Hey see the stripper with the implants?
She likes to lap dance
And date the boyfriend of her mother
Now here comes Jerry's next guest
And it's a slugfest
'Cause it's her trailer trash brother
Nymphomaniacs is back on crack
It's like "When animals Attack"
They all exhibit reprehensible behavior
Hit 'em in the nose, tear off their clothes
Step on their toes, that's how it goes
They get so violent they have to a sign a waiver
They're always swearin', cursin', kickin', butt
And pointin' blame
On the air? They don't care, they've got no shame
There was one guy who I'm sure felt a little strange
When he found out that his wife had a sex change
They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly
They have a history of ripping off their shirts
It's been one week since they had the fight
With the siamese twins and the transvestite
Five days since that awful brawl
They still haven't got the blood off the wall
It's been three days since the bitter feud
Between the KKK and that gay Jewish black dude
Yesterday, finally dawned on me
I'm spendin' way too much time on that Jerry Springer
Once you start watchin' there's just no stoppin'
Your brain shuts down then your IQ's droppin'
Jerry's the king of confrontation
He's a sensation
He puts the "'sin" in syndication
It's totally worthless, like a bad check
It's like a train wreck
Don't wanna stare but you can't look away
Like Sally Jesse he does talk shows
But with more weirdos
The ratings jumpin' higher every day
If you've seen the show, well then you know
It's just as low as you can go
The guests are tacky
And they're lacking in their hygiene
And pretty soon some ugly goon
Comes in the room and then it's BOOM
In the face of some unsuspecting drag queen
Well it's the kind of show where people Scream obscenities
Yankin' hair, throwin' chairs at their hubbies
"Jerry! Jerry!" Now the crowd starts
Their favorite chant
Should I turn off my TV? I just can't
I have a tendency to watch it religiously
I have a history of taping each one
It's been one week since the show about
Psycho killers with problems they should work out
Five days since the big surprise
When some loser's wife said that she's
Still dating twenty guys
Three days since he interviewed
A bunch of psychic porn star midgets
Who were all nude
Yesterday, it occured to me
That I've been watchin' a bit too much
Jerry Springer
Tired of wastin' my time on that Jerry Springer
I've got way too much class
To watch Jerry Springer
Come over here and pull on my finger